5 Days. 5 Exams.

Less than a week's worth of struggle separates me from a really really long airplane flight. I'm feeling a little better about my exams, it seems that obsessive studying really brings a false sense of security that I'm just going to hang on to for a little bit longer. Also, my very large church family at Boone UMC prayed over me in all three services today and it really gave me assurance that even though I'm the one doing the adventuring, there are hundreds of other people that also care about my adventure because they truly believe that God will use me and they want to be a part of the journey through prayer. I believe that God will not be silent in responding to prayer. I am also thankful for my family and friends for making sure that I am mentally and logistically prepared for this trip. Speaking of which, I really ought to pack.

I was feeling pretty down and overwhelmed last week, partially because I was frustrated that I wanted to spend time with people before I leave, but all my time needed to go towards studying and arranging important aspects of the trip, and I didn't feel greatly understood or supported, probably because I was too busy studying to tell anyone how I was feeling. My friends and I did eventually sort everything out. Monday night we are taking some time to henna ink each other (Victoria's idea) so that I can "have something to take with [me]," which was a really special thing to hear. Yes, some artists in particular may get assigned  a less visible canvas such as my foot or shoulder, but their creation will nonetheless be very special to me. I am also hoping to spend an evening with Ryan (my boyfriend) as he has been the most supportive person of all this semester. Poor boy had to carry the majority of my emotional burdens, which I'm sure was really difficult at times. He is bummed that he won't be going on any big adventures this summer, but I bet something big will derive from his interactions in Boone. Sometimes God calls us to go, but sometimes God calls us to stay, and at this point in our young lives, it is a way more difficult and amiable calling to stay. Sometimes I wonder if God is calling me to SA and Swaziland, or if I just have wanderlust. It could be both, but whenever I think about the terrifying fact that I'll be traveling Africa alone, I begin to think that my motivation is probably a bit less rational than the latter. People do crazy things for love.

Thanks for all the prayers. Keep praying!